Tuesday, May 10, 2005
I'm Aunty Carol
I read a neat post about a young man who has been asked to be a godfather to a new baby. He was likening it to being a "dad," or an "uncle." What a neat thing to be requested of someone. No one ever asked that of me, maybe because most Protestants don't do anything that official.
I'm "Mom" to four wonderful kids. We always assumed and later put into writing that "Aunt Tammy" would raise our kids if anything awful happened to both of us. Tammy is Ray's younger sister who never had kids. She's fun, she's a teacher, we love her, she's a loving, balanced person, plus, she was close to the kids as they grew up. All of those are pretty good recommendations to take your place if you die. Now my kids are all over 18, so we no longer would need any parents to take our places.
Besides being "Mom", I also have relationships with a wide range of other kids who sometimes call me "Mama Boltz." I guess that is okay, but my favorite title came when I visited and spent time in Bangladesh at the Home of Hope Children's Home. Later my title was extended to back home for my nieces and nephews. But first, let me tell you how I got the name, "Aunty Carol."
Over there, in Asia, the languages account for every relationship by a certain positional name: elder sister, younger sister, elder brother, younger brother; Aunts and Uncles are designated by father's brother, father's sister (and different names if tell if each one is the elder or younger), mother's sister, mother's brother, and on and on. I can only remember some of the titles, so I didn't try to include them. The words are like, "Didi," for older sister, "Baba" for older brother, "babu" for little boy, get the idea? So, since in English this isn't accounted for, all you get is the title of "Aunty" or "Uncle," and it can refer to any generational, parent-like relationship.
I liked this easy naming system. When I spent time with the Home of Hope kids, either playing, reading, watching kids do hindi dances, singing, and such, they would call, "Aunty, come," or "Aunty, watch." They'd take my hand, lead me around, fight over who got to walk beside me. They each would show me their drawings, things they could do, and all kinds of things children do to share a part of "them." I LOVED it! I was their "Aunty" - meaning any older, mother-like adult woman. I was part of the family to kids who had no parents living with them. It was love, shared so easily that they called me "Aunty."
Knowing that this was the cultural way things are done, when I communicated with my sponsored kids from India, I called myself "Aunty Carol." One young boy, Noor, picked that up and always writes to me by that title. I can only hope that he has a family feeling toward me, since I feel he's a kind of "nephew," and I hope with encouragement he'll succeed in school and in life.
I have brothers and sisters who have children, grown-up ones, and I am to these grown-ups, their "Aunty." When they were little, I was busy with my own kids, and probably wasn't that good of an aunt. I regret that.
When my niece, Carrie, had each of her two little girls, Lilly and Marian, I also became "Aunty Carol" to them. I love hearing them say it, and I love it that they like me! The little one is only about 18 months old. I get to see her later this month, when her "Uncle Nik" graduates from high school.
I haven't got to be around Nik much since he lives in Texas and lives with his dad. I see Nik only occasionally when I make trips to see my baby sister, Donna. When Nik was little, I felt so close to him - he'd take my hand, I'd buy him cheeseburgers at McDonald's, and I got to watch him run around on the McDonald's playground. For the last several years when I've visited my sister, he hasn't always been around very much. I miss him.
Pretty soon, on May 26, Nik will be graduating from high school. Donna tells me it will be an emotion-packed night, so I'm to be prepared. Little do Donna or my nephew know how proud I am of "little Nik." He's all grown up and it doesn't matter to me that his pants sag, he shaves only part of his head, or that he has a pierced tongue. :-) I just hope he'll still hold my hand, walk beside me and maybe let his Aunty Carol buy him a cheeseburger.
I'm "Mom" to four wonderful kids. We always assumed and later put into writing that "Aunt Tammy" would raise our kids if anything awful happened to both of us. Tammy is Ray's younger sister who never had kids. She's fun, she's a teacher, we love her, she's a loving, balanced person, plus, she was close to the kids as they grew up. All of those are pretty good recommendations to take your place if you die. Now my kids are all over 18, so we no longer would need any parents to take our places.
Besides being "Mom", I also have relationships with a wide range of other kids who sometimes call me "Mama Boltz." I guess that is okay, but my favorite title came when I visited and spent time in Bangladesh at the Home of Hope Children's Home. Later my title was extended to back home for my nieces and nephews. But first, let me tell you how I got the name, "Aunty Carol."
Over there, in Asia, the languages account for every relationship by a certain positional name: elder sister, younger sister, elder brother, younger brother; Aunts and Uncles are designated by father's brother, father's sister (and different names if tell if each one is the elder or younger), mother's sister, mother's brother, and on and on. I can only remember some of the titles, so I didn't try to include them. The words are like, "Didi," for older sister, "Baba" for older brother, "babu" for little boy, get the idea? So, since in English this isn't accounted for, all you get is the title of "Aunty" or "Uncle," and it can refer to any generational, parent-like relationship.
I liked this easy naming system. When I spent time with the Home of Hope kids, either playing, reading, watching kids do hindi dances, singing, and such, they would call, "Aunty, come," or "Aunty, watch." They'd take my hand, lead me around, fight over who got to walk beside me. They each would show me their drawings, things they could do, and all kinds of things children do to share a part of "them." I LOVED it! I was their "Aunty" - meaning any older, mother-like adult woman. I was part of the family to kids who had no parents living with them. It was love, shared so easily that they called me "Aunty."
Knowing that this was the cultural way things are done, when I communicated with my sponsored kids from India, I called myself "Aunty Carol." One young boy, Noor, picked that up and always writes to me by that title. I can only hope that he has a family feeling toward me, since I feel he's a kind of "nephew," and I hope with encouragement he'll succeed in school and in life.
I have brothers and sisters who have children, grown-up ones, and I am to these grown-ups, their "Aunty." When they were little, I was busy with my own kids, and probably wasn't that good of an aunt. I regret that.
When my niece, Carrie, had each of her two little girls, Lilly and Marian, I also became "Aunty Carol" to them. I love hearing them say it, and I love it that they like me! The little one is only about 18 months old. I get to see her later this month, when her "Uncle Nik" graduates from high school.
I haven't got to be around Nik much since he lives in Texas and lives with his dad. I see Nik only occasionally when I make trips to see my baby sister, Donna. When Nik was little, I felt so close to him - he'd take my hand, I'd buy him cheeseburgers at McDonald's, and I got to watch him run around on the McDonald's playground. For the last several years when I've visited my sister, he hasn't always been around very much. I miss him.
Pretty soon, on May 26, Nik will be graduating from high school. Donna tells me it will be an emotion-packed night, so I'm to be prepared. Little do Donna or my nephew know how proud I am of "little Nik." He's all grown up and it doesn't matter to me that his pants sag, he shaves only part of his head, or that he has a pierced tongue. :-) I just hope he'll still hold my hand, walk beside me and maybe let his Aunty Carol buy him a cheeseburger.
